Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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