So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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