so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I will pee on everything he values.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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