just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
