help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
