I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
