She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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