: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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