This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
