We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
