Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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