Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
