please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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