It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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