I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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