She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
