what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
