We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm like, not good at living.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
