the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize