Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
