So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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