Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
