Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
