I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize