Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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