GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize