I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
