i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
