it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
