Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
