i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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