it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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