Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
