You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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