it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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