It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
