I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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