I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
