i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
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don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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