Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
