what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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