apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize