Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
