it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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