Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize