I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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