just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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