I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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