I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
