i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
