She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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