I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
