so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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