What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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