I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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