New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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