i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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