My friends, they love my intelligence
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
