plz talk dirty to me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
