I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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